this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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