i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
