Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i love accidental penises.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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