Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
