so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
