i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
