He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
