Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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