whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
