At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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