no, he came in my armpit
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they call him Oral-B. enough said
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
