That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
