She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
