Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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