soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.