maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.