Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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