Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me