I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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