Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
