Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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