I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
