Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
