the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this boner is exhausting
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
