they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
