I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
