Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
