best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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