It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
