i just wanna soil my oats bro
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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