Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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