Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize