I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
