I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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