Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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