Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
