are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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