ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Couch. On fire.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize