I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
