Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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