Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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