Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."

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  (770): We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem." http://tfl.nu/qcu7
  Replies (13) Good night (2491) Bad night (535)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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  (201): You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/vn8h
  Replies (12) Good night (3403) Bad night (971)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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  (651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. http://tfl.nu/i2sm
  Replies (33) Good night (6713) Bad night (713)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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  (270): Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high. http://tfl.nu/tn40
  Replies (18) Good night (8126) Bad night (641)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.

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  (706): That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night. http://tfl.nu/8vqf
  Replies (10) Good night (5005) Bad night (872)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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  (716): You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am... http://tfl.nu/rcas
  Replies (16) Good night (1169) Bad night (5254)
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  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1066) Bad night (2316)
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  (310): View more from California

  That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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  (310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn
  Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (1405)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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  (202): Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395... http://tfl.nu/2tco
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1523)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

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  (586): So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college? http://tfl.nu/tyby
  Replies (6) Good night (1385) Bad night (391)
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  (619): View more from California

  Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...

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  (619): Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence... http://tfl.nu/bv13
  Replies (7) Good night (372) Bad night (1773)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

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  (215): no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus. http://tfl.nu/psky
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (404)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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  (774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (245)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.

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  (512): He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever. http://tfl.nu/bmne
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (233)
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  (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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  (914): wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night? http://tfl.nu/0iz6
  Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (509)

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