He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
