I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
