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Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
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