my sisters under your porch take her home
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
