It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground