I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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