Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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