nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
operation harelip BJ is a go
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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