you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos