I will die if light touches me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.