i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he wants to bone in the snuggie
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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