At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
