So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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