Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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