We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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