you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
