Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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