Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
