Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
