...so i touched it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize