Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
