Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.