Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.