Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet