I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
