What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
