Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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