i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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