Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
