so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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