I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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