If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
