Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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